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Setting Boundaries


I come from a long line of givers. My grandmother is a giver. My mother is a giver. It’s in our nature to help others and we enjoy it!


A few years ago, I read something that changed my perspective on giving and life in general: “Givers must create boundaries because takers seldom do.”


That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, I realized by constantly giving to everyone around me, I had become emotionally, spiritually, and mentally exhausted. I lost focus and clarity in my own life because I was drowning in other people’s wants, needs, desires, and thoughts. And because I didn’t establish guidelines or limits for my giving, I had become a people pleaser – an open gate that could never close because it was tied to others.


So, I welcomed boundaries into my life.


I began to think about my energy. Energy equals time, and, for the sake of this post, time equals money. I was giving my energy away, and as a result, I was bankrupt, void of emotional, spiritual, and mental energy. When you have nothing left to give, harmony in your life disappears.


Personal, clear boundaries can bring that much-needed harmony back. I began turning off the television and social media, giving myself regular moments to recharge and think about the vision I had for my life. I also became comfortable saying, “no.” Soon, I could see where I began and others ended. And for the most part, people respected my new limits.


I still enjoy giving to others, (after all, it’s in my blood); however, I now have the freedom to maintain my spiritual, emotional, and mental health when I do.


How will you set healthy boundaries this month?

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